ABDUCTION

PROTECTION

FEAR OF MY CHILD BEING ‘ABDUCTED’

DESIRE TO HAVE MY CHILD ‘ABDUCTED’

Losing control, going crazy, ‘mental’, mad, insane, not knowing who to turn to, mistrusting others, being abused (self) & child being abused, not finding my child, not knowing, the unknown, not being able to carry on with my life, stuck, immobile, frozen, nightmares, forgetting, moving on, pain, physical & emotional, dead ends, threats, torture, losing my child forever to prostitution, pornography, my imagination, thoughts, not being able to cope, no-one supporting or understanding, my life being consumed, death & finding my child dead, tortured, mutilated, sexually abused or decapitated, lost hopes & dreams, not understanding or comprehending, the process of healing, acceptance, forgiveness, losing faith in life, myself & the Divine, broken relationships, zombie state, being cut off from emotions, being blamed, told I’m a bad mother, being seen as irresponsible, not careful enough, not keeping my child safe, jailed, ostracised, ignored & cut off/out by my family, not having answers to the question why?, breakdown, losing the plot, not being strong enough to deal with life during & afterwards, the underworld, the dark world that would open, of information re: porn & child prostitution, fear for my child, realising that I am not connected to my child, feeling careless, hopeless, despondent, like I could have done more, being punished by authority figure (Law) & by God (the Divine), perpetrator getting away, set free, feeling responsible, stared at, been spoken about negatively, publicity, drama, portrayed as victim  mother, attention, misinformation, rumours, gossip, false trails, leads, waiting, the void, the emptiness, swallowed, being lost, drifting, aimless, no purpose, no role in life, heartbroken, pain, never seeing my child again, despair, horror, never holding my child again, touching them, realising their hopes & dreams, lonely, alone, unreachable, dying emotionally, closed heart, no meaning to life.

To be free, to have my life back, to be free of mothering role, change, attention, drama, clean slate, freedom from responsibility, to play victim, to have my needs met, to materialise my fears, to grow, to experience pain or a heart opening, to go ‘mental’, to go insane, to blame ‘the outside’, to blame others, to have a story, be wounded, feel alive, give up, death, to be depressed, wake-up, make a difference, to feel, to transcend attachments to people especially family, to be alone, to be selfish, to not care – for self or others, to hurt self & others, to have reasons to act up, throw tantrums, scream, break things, disappear, to say ‘I told you so’, to not feel overwhelmed, pressure or to feel expectations of self or others, pretend, move away & start over, to be someone else, pity, to have people feel sorry for me, or talk about me, to be famous, to be known, acknowledged, to believe that true growth comes from tragedy, to grow spiritually, to learn my lessons, to be punished, to be blamed, scorned, ostracised as a neglecting & bad mother, to fulfil my own doubts or feelings that I am not ‘doing enough’, to punish self, to ruin my life, tyrannise myself, self-prophesising ‘doom & gloom’, lose faith, mistrust, to not love, get close, reach out, to not be loved, to not be connected, to not be one with others, desire to be separate, to have bad things happen to me, for things to fall apart, breakdown, meltdown, madness, to be out of control, to feel alone, to be alone, solitariness, quiet, freedom from school, parents, teenage years, growing up,  freedom from loss, freedom from pain (fear of death), to be cut off from feelings & emotions (CONVOLUTED!!)

FEAR OF MY CHILD BEING ‘PROTECTED’

DESIRE TO HAVE MY CHILD ‘PROTECTED’

Molly coddling, remaining a child, not growing up & becoming a responsible adult, stunt personal growth, overprotection, suffocating, attachment, encourage childlike behaviour, not able to think for self & make own decisions, no life exposure therefore no growth, seen as a sissy, or mommy’s boy, weak, incapable, dependent, walked over, used, abused & manipulated, hurt, wounded, damaged, won’t find own resourcefulness, own inner strength, won’t be prepared for the unknown, will attach self-worth to what he does, won’t learn what he can do, inadequate, will overcompensate, encourages hypocrisy, relying on outer authority – teachers, government, instead of guiding own inner authority & intuition, discourage him from relying on self & own strengths, to make things too easy therefore discourage growth.

To be safe, nurtured, loved, kept from harm, to encourage individuality, encourage growth & independence, kept from being hurt or taken advantage of, kept from being used, abused, manipulated, taken for a ride, encourage wisdom, self-discovery, ability to make own decisions & follow own life path, encourage child to leave the nest,  encourage normal, healthy growth & relationships, fit, strong, active, happy, spiritually healthy, fun, connection, respect, purpose, guard & protect them from evil doers, create a secure space, encourage inner strength, intuition, to be supportive, to be in control, to not be affected by the external, balanced, to not be affected by the fear, to be centred, to pray with my child, to affect change, to teach my child how to pray so that he develops his own connection with the Divine, to mentor my child, to have him live out his potential, to have him live longer than I do, to live a full live, to be influential and bring happiness to others, to have a positive childhood, to be safe from personal hardship, family drama & psychological pain, to help him, to make things easier for him, to give him the words, the information to make wise decisions and choices, to empower him, to alert him, to save him.